Us……

The best things in life relli does comes later for me. Never wud i’v thot that i’d be able to move on without any relapse…Thank Goodness i’v succeeded. Innitially,it was kindda hard for me but as i begin to regain my emotional stability,i’m walking  with my head held up high… Not to be sumone whose plainly above everyone but to be sumone who knows that life is definately gettin better by the days… I must admit that i owe it all to the people surrounding me.My family,my kids,my frens…..But above all that,its the love given to me by the guy that has accepted me as what i am,a divorcee with kids whose 8 years senior than him of whom is a different race and religion… So strong is the love that there’s never a day that we dun appreciate each other…So strong was the longings that there’s never a day that went by without us missing each other.So  strong was the emotions that there’s never a moment that we never felt so much for each other…. I Simply Love You…..

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Aaawwwww…….

This is solely dedicated to my kids….My sorrow,happiness,my downfall,my ego,my smiles,my laughter,my hardship,my joy,my challenges,my pride and many many more……Lets just allow the pictures to do the talking….My only hope is to see them grows up to have their own success stories of themselves and their own families……

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Hhhmmmmmm………..

My likes have never been aspired by the people around me…most people who sees me for the first time have always considered me as a very snobbish and fierce person,which unfortunately i’m not…Looks can be deceiving,very very deceiving indeed….I’m always considered to be a chameleon of sum sort…But deep inside,i must admit that i’m rather frenly,sporty,understanding,funny and sumtimes vain …to those who knows me,relli knows me…….Hahahahaha…….I hides my sorrows well,my woes are always unknown for i’m a strong personwhose determinationed wud exceed expectations…But nevertheless,i’m definately the kindda person who wud relli,reli work hard for my survival…I’ll build my own personality and characthers all thru my life based on the journey thru it….So whichever me that you once knew cud never be maintained forever…I’m constantly changing….Changing to be a better person that i’m suppossed to be…..I Am Me……

The Chameleon within would never seize to celebrate herself for what she’s achieve…..

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Worth Waiting

 Arriving at the set was almost a rocord one for us… What we innicially thought was late indeed was very early compared to most of the other casts….. Today was a shoot for a local drama for channel 5….. Code of Law…airing 13th Sept 2012……Thanx to my darling fiancee who begins to fully understands my situation,i was given a chance again to be part of the team…. Not only tt,i even got to take pictures with one of my fav local artist…..

No regrets for today as i’v finally manage to set the records straight tt i’m basically not attached to any agency at all…I’m doing it freelance…..acting i mean….hehehehehehe…….. 

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My definition of Ramadhan>>>>>>

A very tough time for all the Muslims in the whole world coz they would be fighting within themselves to withstrain all of the bad habits and be humble towards all living beings and thus to atone for their sins by gg thru a personal test of their inner strenghts,self and faith…..
In order to be prepared for the hardships in life, be it now or later and to always be reminded tt we are all very fortunate indeed to still be living our lives and witness the victory of Islamic even after centuries and decades passes by us….Always bear in mind that this is the time for all of us to reflect upon our actions rather than to reflect on people’s actions… No one is ever born perfect in this world….We are all borne with innocence but full of flaws….

Never a perfect baby to begin with and neither with much imperfections…We all need parents teachings from the time we are taught to suckle on our mother’s nipples till the time that we are facing our own death bed….Everyday is a learning journey,be it outside or at home or even on the net…No one has the rights to the path that we are living,even as a Muslim…But at times,there is a need for us to be reminded,reminded of how hard our beloved Prophet Muhammad Swt has been fighting for the victories of Islam….And with those reminders do we go thru Ramadhan in order to appreciates everything in our lives and to be humble as to see the hardships of the rest of the human race….

What saddens me is the thought that how some people could be ignorant to the facts and how some people would just deemed themselves better than the rest…..Which i totally dissagree with coz NEVER in our teachings that we are suppose to bring these people down…Be it good or bad,its their learning journey… Allah forgives everyone of his subjects as long as one day,As i mentioned…One day human themselves shows their repentence… Islam is not about condemning and neither is it about criticising…Its all about peace,humbleness and appreciations….And then comes then end of Ramadhan where everyone of us would be celebrating the presence of Syawal….The time of victory for all the Muslims all over in fighting the devil within themselves… The celebrations of victories for those whom felects perfectly their shortcomings… But most importantly,the state of serenity that they are able to achieve with the presence of Allah in their hearts…

So my dear Brothers and Sisters all over the world….take time out to reflect,not on others but onto urselves… Live in humbleness not in arrogance…And Alhamdullillah that whatever ur doing,whoever u are in the society,be it a prominent person or just an average joe…Ur bestowed to live on and see the victory of Islam and Urself after trying so hard during Ramadhan itself….. Amin……

 

P.S : you might not agree with my words,again this is MY defination of the Holy month…For within this believes and definations builds me up to be a strong person who always look forward in life and appreciates every little things tt was bestowed to me thru my destiny…..PEACE……

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Silent Is Tiring…..

There i go again…. Clubbing in the middle of the afternoon again…hahahaha….. This time round,Darling was with me to do the shooting…Eventho just a calefare part for awhile… Waiting was tiring indeed… Waited three hours for a part that only carries less than half  of an hour… ToTal experience with my Darling being beside and going through it with me,priceless……..So here’s moments caught on still film……

 

 

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Is that True……

Knowing sumthing new about yourself is not all a good experience. It might have seem funny and ridiculous in the beginning but as you begin to ponder upon it,you’d be in disbelieve about it too.. You’d start to ask yourself. ” So is that true? ” When denial sets in,you’d try your very best to control the situation within you.. Lots of things might have even contributed to the way that your thinking about yourself then. You’d be shocked,devistated for the moment and then begin to ponder on your current situations.. The conscious state of mind would be fighting so badly within you that you might even just break down and cry…

I my writings for today is base on the all – so – hot topic of sex addiction.. Its news was recently being splash out in the local papers eversince recent cases of unappropriate sexual misconduct has been revealed.. Sad but true,in this time and age,amidst all the stress and pressures in daily livelihood more people are turning to be sex or love addict as they called it..It doesn’t happen to the men only,even the women are going thru the same thing now..Actually,i personally won’t find it as a surprise at all. The competition between the two sexes are never apparent…From childhood,to teenage years and went on forward to adulthood. I’d say that both genders are really really fighting each other just to prove to the society that they are equally good in what the pursue..While some people ends up being a dictator or a narcissists. They’d basically fight emotionally among themselves with all the ‘ proof ‘ of being better than the other gender.. Shocking revelations indeed ya…Personally,i feels that the system of teachings all around the world need to be amended.. Too much competition that people all over not just try to excel in it but they also neglects the deep emotional feelings that might just corrupt theiir mind…..Hence,the dependentcy of love and sex becomes alive so high in them..It makes me wonder if all throughout the competitions in life,would they even try and stop to think if its even gonna bring them anywherelse in life aside of destructions…

Scary ya……Why won’t it be…Imagine that one of these days,a guy wud really wanna prove to the world tt they could indeed conceive and give birth better than a woman…And for the woman,it already becomes so like an ever so natural thing in this modern age to just don a dildo and trying their best to actually pleasure the same gendered people just to prove a point that they could perform if not well but much better than the guys… Whoa…even trying to pour my thoughts out about this seems to be a tabboo kindda ffeelings for me…The World has indeed turns sicker by the day…The population of the world is getting more and more corrupted by the hour…And again,because of all this,i would like to stress that one way or the other,a person is able to be mentally disturb as easily as day turning to night…  Drugs and alchohols are no longer the only addiction problems that we have in hand..Like mentioned earlier,there’s now awareness of Sex Addicts. They are out there. They are living among us. They too would potray themseves to be as successfull,friendly and even kind towards people around them… They’d be living among us as top scholars,businessmen/women or even just a quiet housewives. No one would realise all that till its too late and too hard to handle… What is the world coming to? Self destructive behaviour are so hard to predict indeed.

Reading and knowing about this new problems thats been growing rapidly in the name of mankind…It too makes me wonder if i myself as a normal stressful human being does share the same problem.. It sets my curouscity to almost cat liked behaviour that i have to see and read the tell tale signs of the adiiction called sex… And for a moment there,i thought that i have it…I thought that life is gonna be over if proven that i’m suffering from it… Signs of relief bestowed my inner sense when i realise that all i’m experiencing in the current moment in life is just pure happiness…. How a normal person would be reacting towards their goal in life… The list of things to watch out for is indeed described in such a general way that it would be deemed misleading to some into believing that they are suffering from such an ailment…But then again,pondering upon it…..Am i in denial just like all the other addicts in the world??? Hhmmm….. something to really make me sit and think there….

 

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Lessons from Songs

T.G.I.F !!!!!! And yet i’m awake at home listening to my favourite radio station… Reminising about my carefree past…Every Friday,it’ll happen the same way…Those were the days when i roam free,when there’s no attachments when i’d dream of my future so bright and beautiful…..No boy/girl relationship to think of and no financial burdens to drag me down….Those were trully the days…Once a week,how i wish that i’d be able to turn back the clock just to be where i was before… The innocence of life,the zest of laughter and occasional tears of brokenfrenship that would immediately be repaired after a few teasings and smiles… Nothing could replace those sweet memories of it all… Till death comes upon me in years unknown ahead….

I too discovered that it takes real courage to have and to bear all those memories of those good ol’ days…To be able to go thru all those memories despite making all the new events into future memories really takes a lot of guts… The guts that we’d never thought would exsist… The guts to keep on moving even after missing out on the simplicity of yester years. The way we have to fought the survival of life in the present time,not alone but with the lil life that was created throughout the span of life itself…The path that were taken then didn’t seem like a great big deal…Everything was meant to be restored and repaired if the path goes wayward.. But the hardship of it all could never be forgotten even if we are the most rosiest person to be walking on the face of the earth…

Thru those songs from the radio,lessons were learnt…Hidden meanings were left unspoken till the day that i’m old enough to understand the meaning behind those wonder tunes…Till then,memories have past and comes new life,new meaning and new aspirations… No more useless daydreams but just the will and strength to move forward in time…No more cries and no more tears…Just the strong willed lil girl all grown up with kids of her own……

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Picture Speaks A Thousand Words…..

My past……….. 

 When it crumbles down………….

 

 

 

Then came the journey……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

To reach the Present……

 

 

 

 

 

Makes me wonder always……

 

In deep thoughts about……The future coz The Past keeps colliding with The Present………

 

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No Words Needed…..

Again,i’v been busy trying new things in my life…Steps taken now was never the same for me as before… Life was not mundane as it always were and i’m glad that i still dared to make such a move… All my self confident has been creeping back to me slowly but steadily… Alhamdullilah….. God blessed me with the most understanding guy ever who actually allowed me to try all these new things…

Anyway,my latest venture was in a club…. Club Mink….cool name huh….nope…nope….don’t u guys worry aites… I’m not going back to my nightlife scene but instead,i’m just trying out being in a club scene as a

 calefare in a new featured movie… Nice experience for me.. Made new frens and learn more new things… Never did i dream of doing this but like i mentioned,living life and knowing life with my love is just never the same as when i’m living it 14 years back… Thank You for allowing me sayang..

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