More Fun On the set of Deepavali telemovie….

Fun,fun,fun and more fun….plus all the waiting…. But then,who am i to argue??Its on of the best production tt i’v worked with…All the long waits are worth it to me coz this time,my kids are involved in it together….Those memories……

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this was written by my 12 yrs old son….from a child’s point of view of his own movie appearance……


    Yesterday I acted as a Kampong boy playing marbles when My marbles rolled near to a person named Na. I was directed by the director to run to pick up the marbles.As i pick up the marbles,I must stared at Na.Then two other kids joined me when they were curious why I was staring at the lady.Then the two other kids stop as they realised what I was staring at…Na put down the”Baby” as she stares at us…We run away.The marble that was left by me starts to roll…

 That was what i did.I was quit nervous the first time as the camera zoomed in my face.

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The Boys’ Play Day

Its interesting to be place on the other side of the frame and being an onlooker for once…My boys seems to be having so much fun during the filming of their very first vvc..I on the other hand,am glad that my boys finally gets a chance for their debut appearance on tv soon….So here goes…everything behind the scenes for the 2 heroes…..

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Time to be matured back……

Sunburn on my face !!!!!!! Aarrggghhh !!!!!! Super irritating !!!!!! Jz shows how hard it is to be working in this line sumtimes… Just the other day,i practically nearly lose my voice due to too much shouting and yet now,i’v got sunburn on the face… In the process,had to wear the headscaft for nearly 13 hrs…. Not tt I despise wearing it,its jz not my time yet…and for sure i’m not comfortable in using it at all…i’v dorn it a few times during actual funeral and shoots…but i’m still not used to it yet…And in that,i’m being honest and am telling the truth about it as a form of no hypocrisy towards my feelings wearing it….respect my decisions and views for now….Maybe one day,but definately not now….

In the mean time,these are the pictures taken from yesterday’s shoot from a local movie titled “Ah Boys To Men” by director,Jack Neo…..

After all these shootings experience tt i’v done,I do know the importanced of being versatile as a person in whole… Be it in a clubbing scene,a maid,in a funeral,a spectator or even an estranged woman….size and looks is not all tt matters…the self confidence and the hard work matters most when u wanna set urself out there…… 🙂

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Drafts now feels like nothing……

Where did i go wrong?My thinking?My situations?My upbringing?or My experience?Sumthing tt i used to look forward to now seems to deminished at the very moment those words aare being said… I care for the ppl around me…esp my kids but to sum ppl,i cared too much and yet to sum ppl,i seemed to be the ignorant kindda mum….words are jz never enuf to help me pour out the feelings tt are trapped in….Now,because of words,the excitement of a second chance to build my own mosque jz tremble down right before my very eyes….

Arguements are never rare between us but its gettin out of hands at times…no matter how hard i tried to keep it concealed,i’d keep on ending up showing my anger towards him….He’s the water within me…..Ever so often tt i felt down or angry at my situations,his presence never failed to brings upon the smile to my face………but what if????? wat if the anger is towards him???how do i handle it?wud i be able to handle it?i’d never really know…..haiz……

I’v always felt so blessed to have him in my life,being able to accept the differences in our life and to be accept the packages tt comes along with me…I’v always understand on why he wun want any kids of his own caused there’s always sumthing abt him for not wanting any kids in the future…He treats my kids so well tt at times,my kids seems to be taking advantage of the niceness in him….time and again hv i always warned my kids in regards of their attitudes but this time round,they seems very adamant in having tt attitude in them thinking tt no matter what they did,he’d always be there for them….How wrong are they to be behaving in such a way….Yes he’d be there….but no longer as a father figure but only for me….And me being me is never selfish enufto let tt ever happens to my kids coz i know very well how life is having a step dad whose jz gnna be the solely as a title only….Truth is,i wud never want such things to happen to my kids at all….I admits tt my kids hv been taking him for granted lately…and he being a super nice guy jz wud let it go in the name of fatherly love….Unfortunately,in not wanting his own child,he’s been pinning up high hopes upon my kids….He’s been the perfect example,father figure and even a role model to my kids all these while… hearing him saying tt he actually gave up and wud rather be like any of the other step fathers out there jz pissed me off to the max….i’d rather live the rest of my life alone…face the probs of my adolecent kids on my own anf finally to rest in peace alone….never wud i want my kids to live the life i used to or am currently living like how it was for me and my own step dad….Its too stressful to begin with knowing tt there’s so much hatred tt he actually harbors for me…Sincerely,i do not wish my kids to be suffering the same fate as i did…..

When will my kids realised tt for now,he is being sumone better than their own flesh and blood sperm donor who holds the title of a Father to them?When will they realise tt eventho he’s not of their own,he cares so much for them??And when will they realise tt he’s the source of my happiness despite the tough times tt i’m facing???With them not realising any single thing at all,how could i ever move on with my life??Thinking back at his dissappointment in my kids really dampens my mood off…Those words tt i’v never expected to hear tt it is actually coming out from him….How cud i even think of a next marrieage when there’s a very high possibilties of my kids growing up like me??All i wanted was for them to get along well with each other not because of obligations and neither is it because of advantages they cud gain from it….

After all the thinking and pondering has been done,do u even think tt its wise for me to move on and get myself hitched jz for my own happiness??I’m not tt selfish aites…..Maybe i’m jz destined to be alone….not fit for any 2nd chances in life at all…Jz to be living for my kids and not caused any stress to others…and jz to be battling it all alone… indeed….the drafts and plans of a new lease of life wud jz be sumthing unfinished as all those feels like nothing at all……

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Hey….Salamat Hari Raya or Eid Mubarrak to all the muslims all over…Its been awhile since i’v even stepped into my own blog tt i almost forget my own password…..hahahaha…But nevertheless,i’m back…Hope tt everyone of u out there is enjoying the ongoing festive season ya…Talking of which,i noticed tt most Muslims are being labelled as sumone bad one way or the other…not like as if its not apparent enough…my question is,when will all those things be stop??or wud it ever??why do ppl often misjudge us for sumthing tt we’r not?We are afterall humans too…and we do carry emotions too…Amidts all the happiness of Eid Mubarrak,i’ll still see the injusticed done by media or even the societies ard abt the muslims…esp tthwe Malays in Singapore….What ever happens to the words tts been said almost daily in Singapore?? ” regardless of race, language or religion “…. Yes…its part of the Singapore pledge,but does anyone ever take the consideration of it now??I doubt so….Well…i’m not referring to the so called FTs tt has invaded or country,here i am,talking abt those True Blue Singaporean blood….Did they even forgets tt there are races tt are different from their own in this Motherland of ours??? What went wrong with the teachings???Even aft there are a lot of inter racial marrieages going on in this country and yet ppl still thinks lowly of their counterparts???

I do know tt for sum ppl,its jz not relevant enuf for them to take notice of all these little details…maybe,ur jz too bz trying to make ends meet and to pleased ur foreign bosses…Please do take awhile of ur time to ponder upon my words…if ever there is one day tt u’d gonna be driven out of ur confort zone of wealthness,the table might even be turned back to u….

Recently,i’v just sent out an invite to a fren of my fiancee in regards of the festive season of Eid Mubarrak…Like every other past years,there wud be a certain specific date tt my family wud organised a so-called ‘Open House’ in lieu of the festive season itself…This practice has been ongoing from my younger years as a toddler (as far as i cud recall) till date…Its being done so tt it’ll be very convenient for us to receive guest and to hv bonding session between families and frens…To my surprised and dismay,instead of jz accepting the invite as it is,we also recieve a weird kindda question…” Malays have open house too for their Hari Raya?” Lucky me,my fiancee was smart enuf to give him the appropriate ans..phewww…….Mind u,the person is also of a native Singaporean but of a different race than i am…but in the same time,i find tt its utterly a great dissapointment tt even our own countryman managed to be so ignorant of his own surroundings…What ever happens to equality here?Is Multi racial jz another word in the dictionary?What hv the elderly been teaching their kids over the last few decades??

No wonder we malays hv often been misunderstood as the race tt is incoherent.We are not a race who jz ‘give and give’,promiscuous,lazy or jz another species tt keeps on breeding,breeding and more breedings…..Truth is,i was raised in a family tt consisted of all the 3 main races in Singapore…i was never taught to look down upon others be it in genders,age,wealth or even race…Like part of the pledge,i hv been keeping up to it as a Singaporean…

U must hv been wondering why the big hoooo haaasss over a simple question like tt right?In order not to be seen as sumone prejudice,i’d rather keep the rest of the convo tt was told to me in heart….Its not the 1st time tt i’v heard of such remarks being made abt my race…Is it because we are so verbal in our actions or is it becaused of our religous teachings?Only God knows whats really in their hearts….Maybe,i just cant seem to digest to the words tt i’v been hearing abt my race…From the topic of having lots of babies to the topic of divorce rates,crimes and even poverty…..Trust me…after years of growing up,mingling and being frenly here in Singapore,i’v seen other races gg thru the same shits as what the malays does…but one thing tt puzzles me through and through is,why are the negative attentions being directed to the malays only….Aren’t we a good enuf race to begin with??Like the others and our country to begin with,it takes time,experience and determinations for ppl to change…If we cud accept the changes why cant we be accepted into the sociey without any prejudice? This is just an observation of mine cause i’m being forced to ponder upon these things as it always seems tt with a particular race in Singapore,the Malays are still being portrayed as ppl who are useless in their exsistance…Its very unfair as it not only at times effect us emotionally but at times,its also causes us our rightful ‘rice bowls’………..

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Their smiles

This time round,my lil kids gets to participate in one of the shoots tt i was called for… Eventho its their first time,they did reasonably well that day…It begin so hectically from home in regards of finding the right outfits for the shoot itself. Finally we’v got everything togethr in the nick of time… Upon reaching there,i cud easily see their nervousness… For a moment there,i thot that i cud see that they are actually so into their roles that they almost seems like they’r in actual mourning mode…Hahahaha….Its a funeral scene anyway….Last but not least,i’m equally happy that they are given the opportunity to do it Finally……

Seeing their happy faces is really a big reward for me… I know thaat i’v made their day…. just hoping that this is not gonna be their first and last experience………fyi,this is for a local malaydrama that are currently aired on t.v…..make a guess ya…….

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I‘m totally on my own here at the 2nd location….Kindda weird but got used to it eventually… A very sad scene of  a loss in the family…Tears were rolling down their cheeks…And i’m suppossed to be sad too…Lucky me,without any sleep the night before and starting to feel fatigue by the time i reached there,my eyes were already so red and its very easy to pull the ‘ sad ‘  moment….Even my eyes are ‘ teary ‘  then….hahahaha……




Gotta admit,there’s not much picture here… I’m simply overwhelm by the presences of the main casts itself…Veteran and seasoned actors and actressess adorned the set…I’m juz too star studded and tired at the same time…hehehe…


P.S : I was wearing baju kurung and tudung for this shoot…. Awesum experience……

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Who wud have thot……

Yesterday seems to be our day….2 shoots for me while 1 for him….And to think tt he got to be in it for quite sumtime….I’m glad he enjoyed it…Oh yea…. so is my mum…she’s into  it too now….Calefare…hahahaha…..Well…this is for the 1st location…..




 @ Atas Height…….hehe…..

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Egoistic Envy

Dearest Society,

Can i know when all this bullshit will stop??? Seriously,if it doesn’t stop anytime soon,i might not even wanna fight with u anymore. And in not fighting u,wud mean that,i’m not even wanna consider whats urs to be any part of me anymore….. Don’t u think tt what u’v done is far too much?? Why pressure him to the point that he hv to adhere to ur words always?U kept on making all these secret plans js so that ur beloved daughter cud hv her blissfull life… Then how abt ur other offspring then?What’s his exsistence to u then?Why are u forcing him to be ur puppet?Let him grow up…For God’s Sake…Let him be a man and live his life… Let him learn his mistakes and amend it on his own.Let him have the pleasure of being a matured adult.Give him space to think of solving his problems.With ur forceful ‘ helping hand ‘ ,how do u expect for him to move on in life aft both of u has passed on..Do not stop thinking…Please kindly utilised the abilities that God had given u for the past decades and more…He’s not a child anymore…Every human grows gracefully thru their life lessons…I bet u do too right??Otherwise,i’m sure tt u,urself wud not be able to keep ur dark secrets from ur other significant other right?

Hello mister,even in ur old age u still keep to ur dark secrets…How do expect to try and ask someone to follow ur footsteps??If ur happy with the choices tt u’v made then u wun be keeping all of ur ‘dark’ activities from ur family or ur better half…Do u want him to live life without his happiness of achievements in life tt was done from his own sweat and blood? How much longer do u want him to be dependent on u?In the first place,ur not even treating him fair in life. Everything he does is never good enough for u… But in the other hand,eveerthing ur princess does is place so high up in the pedestial… When will u learn tt she’s not perfect either?When she go thru divorce?I doubt so….coz both of u are being so diplomatic towards both of them… Its just like PAP verses WP….So political is the upbringing of ur two kids tt u’v forgotten tt even the ‘ dumb ‘  one is actually smart and has traits tt even u wud be envious of…..Not of his choices but of his freedom to choose…..

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